Uncle Bucks Tips for new dads

Congratulations!  By now you have been told (or will be shortly...) that everyone is very happy for you and your new family.  If you are visiting this website and reading this page it is certain that you are going to be an involved parent.  You are looking for ideas on how to raise your children and what to expect.  Here's some ideas:

Don't be afraid to hold the baby.

You may want "the professionals"; ie; the women to step in and take care of the baby for the first few weeks.  Not a bad idea. But the baby is not china and both of you will benefit from some contact.  It's important to bond with your child up close and personal.  You want them to know what you look and smell like.  Don't worry; they will be very interested in getting to know you.  

Don't be surprised if the baby always goes to Mom first or cries in the beginning when you hold them.  

There are a few reasons for this; 

1.  She's warmer

2.  She's softer with no scratchy beard and has built-in pillows and footrests.

3.  She smells nicer.

You may rush home after a day at work and want to play with the baby.  Try shaving and showering before snuggling your newborn; you will get a better overall response.

Use a pillow to support the baby while nursing.  Instead of baby leaning on your bony or muscular arm lay them on a pillow.  Think about trying to sleep on the midnight bus.  Baby is tired but can't get comfortable; with a pillow it's all OK.

Hold baby on your breast not over the shoulder when putting them down.  While holding them over the shoulder standing up may feel more comfortable for you baby tends to like resting on your chest; between your breast with one ear on your heart.  They are very close to you and can hear you heart; it reminds them of their old home and relaxes them.

Babies like it warm and like to be sung to.  Make sure they have socks or a sleeper and don't be shy to hum a tune; anything you heard on the radio; it works every time and nobody's going to hear you but baby. 

Bring home the bacon AND cook it.  With a new baby eating in restaurants 24/7 is not an option.
Whether you have a dream kitchen or a hotplate and a kettle; Uncle Buck can show you few tips and tricks to put food on the table and some recipes to get you started.

Don't worry about the money; it will come.   

Easy to say; but is it true?  Keep in mind that for the first few years you will be buying LOTS of things you never knew you needed; and people who don't have children don't have to buy.  Car seats, formula, diapers, daycare are all things that will consume vast amounts of any money you may have available.  Not to mention the mostly self-imposed pressure that new fathers put on themselves to "do big things" like buy a new house or start a new business.  

Having children is one of the things in life that will inspire you to work harder and do better.  People will help you along the way.  Of course it's hard to see now; but the people who have kids are also the people who plan for the future.

When you are single you have lots of disposable income, take lots of trips; buy nice clothes, have good times.  When you have kids you work hard, save your money and work towards retirement.  If you add up the chips at the end of the game I bet you will be ahead.  And, if you do a good job one day those kids could take care of you when you get old; unlikely that your boss from Megacorp would drop by in the nursing home....

Stay together.  If you want to be involved in your child's life make every effort to stay with the mother.  You are going to have to interact with that person for many years to come; why not cut to the chase and stay together?  People give up too fast these days; raising a family is hard work but worth the effort if you do it right. 

Would you like a cup of tea dear???  If you have a new baby in the house Uncle Buck HIGHLY recommends you try our special tea for new mothers.  It really can have a calming effect and is completely natural and inexpensive.  Here's the recipe

You are going to lose one of your cherished possessions.  It's going to happen that your toddler will break something that is important to you.  It could be a TV, radio, musical instrument, computer, something that you use often and is sensitive to sticky fingers and sudden power interruptions.  Get over it now; one day it will be your kids who will be explaining to you how to program the teleporter in 2020.  

Beware of friends who try and become "part of the family".  When you have new babies in the house you attract some people who LOVE kids and will do anything to be around you.  They buy you lots of gifts and show up un-announced; often at inappropriate times (ie: when baby is just about asleep..)  That they want to be around you is normal; but remember that you need time alone with the family; especially in the beginning.  You are busy enough with a new infant and need your sleep too.  Don't feel guilty about telling that person that "it's time to leave" and taking time alone with your family.  

 

 

Other women won't trust you to take care of the children.  Even though you are SuperDad and do an excellent job of taking care of the children some women will assume that you are not up to the task.  This is normal.  Uncle Buck suggests that if they become persistent and want to tell you how to do everything you suggest that THEY come over and take care of the baby while YOU tell them how to do everything.  Be aware that YOU are the parent and while it's nice that they are concerned; children can learn many valuable things from men; even when they are a month old.  

 

If you have grandparents in the picture at one time they may try and assert control over your situation. 

If you want your relationship to work you will have to prevail and take the family in the direction YOU want to go; sometimes against their wishes.  Keep in mind that it's YOUR family and YOUR kids now.

You are responsible for them now and for better or worse whatever choices you make will affect the entire family.  YOUR family.  Not their family.  Rent Meet the Fockers or About Schmidt for an examples of how this can play out...

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